Wednesday, June 11, 2014

blessings in disguise

(sort of, finding blessing in everyday occurrences aren't really disguises)

I haven't really touched this blog in awhile... And last time I did, it was just to post a video. I actually continued the project for May, so you can find it here if you want to watch. :)

For the past few days, I've been trying to fix this website for the company I'm interning for -- they lost their WordPress login and were unable to update any content. After resetting it via cPanel and trying to log in, one of their scripts was redundant or something (idk) but I kept getting this memory_limit_error. Technicalities aside, I played around with it, simplified some code, disabled various plugins, etc. but nothing worked -- I would get different errors, but never did it go through to the dashboard. Finally, I tried to upload a raw version of one of the files, which ended up breaking the entire site. I really had a heart attack.. my heart was pumping so fast as I searched for fixes and support forums. Anyways, after updating the entire server and the WordPress files, not only did I fix what I broke of the site, but I also fixed the original problem and got access to the dashboard.

That moment of relief was one that I have never felt before.
And, (I think), it was the first time in my life that I had ever thought of God as who to thank for this miracle.

Why is it that in this mundane internship, editing PHP scripts, updating servers, and all these nerdy technical terms that I find God? It was so strange to me that in that moment of realization that I had redeemed myself... that it wasn't even me. I had been telling myself for so long that God is the reason for all I did in my life, yet I never truly trusted myself.

Later on, I had the longest WP session ever (catching up on four days' worth of Beth Moore, studying more in depth for VBS, the seven chapters of Psalms, plus my continuation of Nehemiah) so I came across a bunch of encouraging verses. I guess I've been kind of distant from God, but not in the sense that I was falling away from Him. Just putting a lot of stuff before him (like work, family, etc.) Even though Beth Moore is so long every day, I constantly find myself avoiding it not due to length, but due to my refusal to see what is deficient in my relationship with Christ. Yet it's not my relationship with God that's suffering when I don't feel like doing Beth Moore or following my original WP schedule -- it's His relationship with me. I don't foster this relationship. He does. And that's why I feel like every single one of the bible studies have been so weirdly relevant/unsettling/blessing to me. Idk.
for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure.  
Philippians 2:13 

Thursday, May 1, 2014

March/April 2013

Recorded 3 seconds out of every day for part of March & all of April.
Realized my life is boring.
Here it is anyway:

Thursday, April 10, 2014

Positive vibes

Today was such a great day :') I honestly feel like God was just working in me and others around me today to just show me how truly wonderful He is (not to sound all preachy, but honestly!! God is so good.) As I was running, I noticed this mom and her son waiting at a crosswalk (you don't see that in Boston because everyone just jaywalks) and I was going to stop myself but kind of crossed into the street, then backed up. Then she acknowledged me and laughed while telling her son, "See, even other adults wait!! Responsible people are patient," with this extremely happy tone and afterwards she expressed such thankfulness in my seemingly petty decision to stop at a crosswalk. Later on, I went to the dining hall to eat and I feel like everybody was just so cheerful today :') Like the guy at the taco station remembered me and he was laughing and telling the other woman who was there "she likes the sauces! But never the jalapenos" and I was just so touched that he remembered me, not to mention my taco preference. Then, I went to go sit at the Indian food bar area and the guy who was making the naan was like "you like this bread, huh? You always sit here!" and he pulled out fresh naan from the oven and handed it over the window to me. Lastly, at the kosher station, the Jewish man always tries to get people to take the soup but no one ever does. But the lady that was there today was so joyful in asking people to take the soup (everyone was there for the salmon) and she was like "you know you want the soup!! I'll give you the salmon if you eat the soup" and she was just joking with everybody and was so kind.  I feel like my natural demeanor of just smiling and being polite goes such a long way with them and I mean... I hope I make their days like they always make mine. Sigh. I love dining hall people.

Anyways, I have a film music final tomorrow but I am instead writing this post..... so I should go study. Actually though it's 7 PM, I've run, showered, and eaten so I guess I'm at a good spot in terms of time management. Ahh today was great :')

Friday, April 4, 2014

Run River North

Weee I saw RRN last week!! (I am selecting the thing to pretend I published this the day after when I really was too caught up with other stuff haha) It was actually pretty crazy because they didn't originally have a Boston date (touring with Goo Goo Dolls) but (this is probably coincidence) I tweeted at them since I was jealous that Jkim went to the Troubadour show... and the next day..... a Boston date showed up?? Without GGD??
Anyways, they were so good live.. ahh so cool. Little do they know how closely I follow their Instagrams/Twitters that they don't update. Jk lol. It was a pretty intimate concert in a tiny venue (The Red Room @ Cafe 939, run by Berklee College.) The space was like maybe a little larger than a standard classroom but it was packed and Alex was like "wow I didn't expect us to pack the room... I thought I'd be like 'hey guys' [to just the front portion of the room.]" After the show, I was nervous to approach John Chong because I thought he was too cool to remember me.. but as I inched closer to the circle of people who were talking to him, he recognized me :') So crazy how you think people are doing big things and they forget their past lives, but even after a few years, he still even remembered my name o_o and we had a conversation about school & majors & other fun stuff. Afterwards, I talked to Jenn Rim about Sey Ahn (lol) and percussion/orchestra and she was such a sweetheart :') Ahhh good stuff can I go back yet :') :') :')

Tuesday, March 11, 2014


I went to Williamstown for a few days over spring break to visit Cindy.. and made a video:

I took a four hour Amtrak ride into Pittsfield, and then Cindy and her friend, Matt, picked me up to get to Williamstown, which was around a half hour away. The whole ride through central Mass & the car ride up to Williamstown was so picturesque. I felt like I was on the Polar Express :)

Overall, I had a pretty good time. It was good being able to catch up with Cindy and see her quaint, beautiful town <3 Seriously, I fell in love. So pretty. But nothing there.

Williams College is a pretty nice place to go to school, I think. Except for the fact that it's completely isolated. The campus itself offers a lot though, like gorgeous libraries and snack bars that open late... and serve you nachos that fill a whole cafeteria plate.

Schow Science Library

Anyways, now I'm back in Boston and back in school. Ahhh too much to do & study for.. it was a nice break & retreat from life. :) 

See you!